Man's Search for Meaning

Sometimes a book can literally change who you are. One such book, for me, was “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. I was absolutely riveted by the insight and wisdom contained in this book.

Frankl imparts his experience of laboring in Nazi concentration camps over a five year period. He was a successful man and then, one day, absolutely everything was taken from him. His very identity was stripped away; a number was tattooed on his arm giving him his “new” identity. His parents, brother and pregnant wife were all killed. This complete dehumanization is such an appalling thought that my mind cannot grasp it.  But Frankl goes on. He survives years of unimaginable physical and psychological torture. He holds on to the only thing he has left: himself. He makes a choice to stay strong and search for a meaning in his new life. He allows his mind to take over and keep him sane on a journey through hell.  

Frankl shows that you often can’t avoid disastrous circumstances, but you are the only one who can choose how to adapt, find meaning and continue on your path. In the book, Frankl discusses other men, and how they dealt with these horrors. Some gave up hope and wasted away. Some turned into animals. It’s hard to imagine how one would respond; you couldn’t know if this torture would ever end and I think it may be easy to lose hope, to perhaps even hope for death. Frankl argues that one must dig deep inside and find a reason to live, a meaning to every suffering.

Most of us will never experience this type of absolute low point in life, but I believe that this type of circumstance is when you truly know yourself. No one can give you an ultimate purpose and meaning, this is a journey that only you can take. I see so many people going through the motions of life who seem to have no purpose. I have a strong belief that my purpose in life is to accept suffering, to love others and myself and to learn and find meaning every day of my life. Frankl says “He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.”

Read this book. I honestly don’t see how anyone could not be profoundly impacted by Frankl’s moving work.

Titanic: A Night Remembered

The sinking of the Titanic is a well documented tragedy. Since I was a child, I have been intrigued by this terrible accident. I have wondered what it was like to be doomed on that ship, as well as what it was like to survive the catastrophe.

“Titanic: A Night Remembered” by Stephanie Barczewski is a good book for those interested in the history of the Titanic. The author spends a lot of time asking “What makes a hero?” She tells of how the men who survived were plagued with taunts of not being gentlemen. And how the only heroes recognized were men who gave their own lives for others.

I had mixed feelings, reading about how the male survivors were treated. It is understandable that able-bodied people should stand aside to help people with less strength before saving themselves. What bothers me about this account, is that these boats were not nearly full. If I were a man, and the boat was being lowered with 1/3 capacity, I would want to save my own life. I don’t see why people thought it was cowardly to want to live.

I was hoping for more first person survivor accounts in this book, but overall I enjoyed it.

The Bell Jar

Another difficult, engaging character driven story is "The Bell Jar" by Syliva Plath. The descent into mental illness was told in a startling, vivid way. Perhaps it felt so realistic because it may be semi-autobiographical, and Plath committed suicide shortly after publication.

This one will leave you feeling disturbed, but is worth the time.

This Heart of Mine

Another Susan Elizabeth Phillips book to read: "This Heart of Mine." It’s so easy to fall in love with the characters she creates. I enjoy the way she follows the same characters in multiple books. This book had me in tears but left me feeling all warm and fuzzy J

Roses Are Red

I am still following the Alex Cross series by James Patterson. I recently finished “Roses Are Red.” I loved it, as I have all of the books in the series, but I had a few issues with character portrayals in this one. Some of the characters have been built up through several books and then this book seemed to minimize them and completely change them.

For the first time, this one had some inconsistencies and loose ends for me. Hoping the next one doesn’t continue in that thread.

A Prayer for Owen Meany

John Irving won my heart with "A Prayer for Owen Meany." This is, perhaps, one of my favorite books of all time.

Strong spiritual issues are introduced throughout the book. What is the meaning of life? What is faith? What is fate? I tend to be drawn into anything spiritual in nature and this book has this theme in spades.

I was in love with Owen Meany. His intelligence and wit command attention throughout the book. You can truly learn from anyone in your life, especially from people vastly different then yourself. This is what happens to John in this book, through his friendship with Owen. Events that happen in life can increase our wisdom in startling ways.

The book is quite long and takes time for a serious read, but I highly recommend it.

Sizzling Sixteen

Just finished "Sizzling Sixteen" by Janet Evanovich. Kidnapped? Imagine that! Fires and bombs? Really! (Heavy sarcasm) Honestly…no one has this kind of life.

Maybe (ok, definitely) there are too many books in this series…but I’m still reading and I still recommend them! However, I need to take a little time off before I read #17.

The Help

I read “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett before it was made into a movie. I have not seen the movie, but absolutely loved the book.

Amazing fact--this is Stockett’s first novel and it was supposedly rejected over 50 times before being published! Aspiring writers take heart, and keep your hope alive.

Her writing is moving and creates an intense intimacy with the characters. Set in the 1960’s in Mississippi it is laced with racial tension. Told from multiple POV, you can really feel the emotions of that time in history.

I felt closest to the Aibileen character, put upon, oppressed, but never broken. The relationships she shared were heart-warming and true. She was raising the child of her employer with love and compassion, and while she was good enough to take care of their children, she could not even use an indoor bathroom in their home. I had tears in my eyes thinking of this strong woman, being reduced in such a manner. The character of Skeeter was also inspirational, as she went outside of her comfort zone to do the right thing. There are few people in life who stand up against the crowd for what is right, when they are on the "right" side already. I appreciated that Stockett added a character who did just that.

I definitely recommend this book.

As I Lay Dying

I decided to focus on a classics periodically. I recently finished "As I Lay Dying" by William Faulkner. I really liked the plot of this book, but I had a hard time staying focused. I enjoy books told from multiple perspectives, but this one was too much. The characters were scattered and hard to remember. Hopefully the next classic on my list will be more my style.

Cat's Cradle

Satire enthusiasts—be sure to read “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut. If you love satire, I’d be surprised if you haven’t read this already. I absolutely loved this one.

The Big Short

How much do you know about what caused the economic crash in America? For a fascinating look inside the sub-prime meltdown, pick up “The Big Short” by Michael Lewis. It contains a wealth of information that every American should be aware of.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I appreciate unconventional thinkers. If a person is “normal” by societal standards I typically translate that as intensely boring and someone I would rather not interact with on a regular basis. A book that peaked my interest along these lines was “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky.

Narrated by a teenager in the form of letters sent to a stranger, the story portrays a person unpopular with “normal” people. The narrator is a “wallflower” in that he observes and takes in all that is going on around him. He ponders the meanings and asks questions that make him seem awkward.

The book has a lot of themes that distress many mainstream readers (homosexuality/drugs) so if these things are disturbing to you, skip this read. If you want to read about a young person coming to terms with himself though learning and confusion, this is a phenomenal read.

The Girl Who Fell From the Sky

A book that touched me, on a deeply personal level, was “The Girl Who Fell From the Sky” by Heidi Durrow.I have not found many books that accurately portray the torn feelings of a biracial character. Durrow’s main character is beautifully crafted. I loved how the story shows how lonely that can feel, as if your identity is hidden away and as if you are different than everyone around you.

From my own personal experience, everyone wants to put you in a box. Being outside the "box" tends to freak some people out. I had a boyfriend when I was younger whose Mother told her friends that it was okay if he dated me because I “looked white.” But she could never approve of him marrying me because surely I have “dark genes.” I had a group of boys who teased me mercilessly about being a chocolate milkshake and would leave crushed Oreo cookies on my porch. And on the flip side, I had a Grandmother who said that she didn’t want to have contact with me because I acted “too white.” I could go on with examples for days...

What a lonely, terrible feeling for a child growing up in a world of labels. Growing up in a society that is so segmented, it is hard to fit in if you cannot claim one race as your own. Not many people can relate to how this feels. Every person has to struggle to find themselves in life and being “different” adds to that struggle. As a biracial person, it is important to carve your own way in life, to make a place for yourself and embrace your uniqueness.

I hope that one day America will do away with boxes all together and everyone can just be an American. I appreciated following that journey in this book.

As a side note, I could rant for hours on the fact you have to “select your race” everywhere you go. Recently I even got a card at the eye doctor asking me if I was Caucasian, African American or Hispanic. Why in the world does the eye doctor care about that?? And with so many people of mixed race, why are the choices still so limited?? Frustrating. I wrote "frankly, this is none of your business" on my card.

The Secret Life of Bees

A book that demonstrates to me the power of women creating a safe haven for others is “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd.

This story unfolds with an honest, touching voice that recalled to me emotions of my childhood. Set in the South, during the Civil Rights movement, the main character--Lily Owens, has a love inside that knows no boundaries. She overcomes societal expectations and constraints to find a family to share that love.

The book spoke to me in so many ways. I am against society creating organized groups of people who then make it their duty to look down on other groups of people. Lily Owens touched that part of me, the non-conforming part that just wants people to be treated as people, for minds to overcome the ridiculous rules of societies and for love to be all important. If you have a family that doesn’t value you, find another that does!

In Death Series

Don’t forget to try the “In Death” series by JD Robb, if you haven’t already! Finished “Witness in Death” and loved it.

My Sisters Keeper

Jodi Picoult is another author that I follow. Sometimes I love her books...sometimes I'm ambivalent.

One that earned her a place on my permanent list was “My Sister’s Keeper.” In typical Picoult fashion, the book is narrated by multiple characters, giving unique points of view. Many ethical and difficult questions are raised. As a mother, how far would you go to keep your child alive? What would you sacrifice? As a sister, what would you do to save your sibling? What would you do to make her wishes come true? And then, in the end, is so much struggle worth it? Will fate override any struggle that you make?

I definitely recommend this one. It was heartbreaking, with typical Picoult twists that you don’t imagine coming.

Iris Johansen

I have read some Iris Johansen mystery novels that I really liked. That led me to mark her as a favorite author. Then I tried her romances…so far I’ve tried two, most recently “Golden Valkyrie.” So far, I do not like her as a romance author. Anyone read any good romances by Johansen? I’m tempted to try one more…

Basement Diving

I have been digging through old books in my basement. As a teenager and into my early 20’s, I read romance novels exclusively. As a remanant of that time,I have over a thousand of the grocery store romances stacked in the basement. I picked one out to read, it was “Reach for the Moon” by Joyce Thies.

At that time in my life I was a sucker for a happy ending and...maybe I still am. I read this book in just a few hours and was reminded of why I used to love them. No thinking involved, very little plot/conflict to pay attention to, and good feelings! I am going to re-read some more of the basement stash!

The Outsiders

Oldie...

One of my favorite coming of age novels is “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton. Emotions are sparked in this story about rivals groups in a small town. Everyone can relate to the struggles of growing up and trying to fit in with diverse groups of people.

I loved the characters created by Hinton and the strong bond that grows between the main characters over adversity.

A good book for every teenager to read! Hinton herself is an inspiration, having written this book as a young teen.

Secrets of Eden

I recommend you read “Secrets of Eden” by Chris Bohjalian. The story unfolds through four points of view. The depth of the story line touches many subjects including the loss of faith, the ripple effects of domestic abuse, the explosive nature of secrets and sacrifice for those you love. The most developed character is Stephen Drew. In him all of these struggles come to light.

Bohjalian is a very talented writer, and I would like to read more of his work.

Kafka on the Shore

If you are up for a mind-bending book, try “Kafka on the Shore” by Haruki Murakami. This book kept my interest. It is told from two points to view. In alternating chapters the stories of Kafka and Nakata unfold, rushing toward an inevitable intersection. The plot is full of riddles. Some parts are magical, some daunting. The power of music and the hope of magic come through strongly. I can’t say I truly understood this book, but I found it utterly fascinated none the less.

The Dance of Anger

Have trouble recognizing and dealing with anger? “The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships” by Harriet Lerner has good tips on how to confront your angry feelings and resolve them.

The main point is to focus on yourself and why certain things are making you angry. Not to focus on the person or object of your anger. I did find some of the stories similar to how I have felt and learned a bit about hiding your anger.

Awakening the Buddha Within

Lama Surya Das has been an inspiration to me along my spiritual path. His book “Awakening the Buddha Within” is brilliant.

Becoming more aware of yourself and the world around you is vital to growth as a human being. This book helps guide the spiritually inclined through the key principals of Buddhism. It turned my focus inward and to wisdom and love. Most importantly, it helped me continue on the path to building my compassionate nature, and giving back to the less fortunate.

Buddhist or not, this book will help you on your journey, if you are currently aware of your journey.

New suspense series

For the suspense lovers out there, “The Burying Place” by Brian Freeman is a book to add to your list. The plot follows police detective Stride as he works to solve a missing child case.

Full of twists and turns, Freeman still creates strong, intriguing characters. I didn’t figure out the mystery until the end, which seldom happens…so that earns Freeman brownie points and a spot on my “authors to read” list.

Game Change

Keeping with the political theme today!

How the American political system works is both asinine and amazing (and sometimes completely ridiculous). The first presidential campaign I remember, as being old enough to vote, was Al Gore against George Bush. And what a race that was! I stayed up all night watching the coverage. The next campaign that really touched me was the race to win the Democratic nomination in 2008. I was torn between Obama, Clinton and Edwards. Edwards had been a favorite of mine in the past, but I respected Clinton and started to become intrigued by Obama. The story of how Barack Obama came to be President of the United States is one of inspiration and hope. I believe he was the right candidate, at the right time. Washington needs more people to shake up the status quo.

“Game Change” by John Heilemann provides a stunning glimpse into a world filled with politics and power. It tells the story of how a nation fell in love (or in hate) with a fresh new face--Barack Obama. I enjoyed every page of this book; a startling glimpse inside the insanity of political campaigning.

The Politician

Politics have always fascinated me. In this generation, people in politics have become more like celebrities, than world leaders. Every piece of their life is opened to public scrutiny.

When John Edwards ran for president in 2004, I was drawn him. I felt he was charismatic, had strong principles and would make a fine leader. When John Kerry was selected as the Democratic candidate, I was disappointed.

I am not into judging other people’s life choices, so when things blew up surrounding John Edwards and his affair I was slightly annoyed. I thought the press was making a big deal out of an affair (a la Bill Clinton). As more was revealed, my impression of John Edwards declined quickly. Not only did he have an affair, but he tried to cover it up to protect his political career in a really shady way.

I picked up “The Politician” by Andrew Young to see his side of the story. He is the person who helped with the cover up. Young tells a tale of power changing John Edwards from a great man, to a shallow self-absorbed one. However, Young often seems child-like and whining. He talks about how he did anything and everything for the Edwards family, and that makes him deserve a future with them. At the end he says he wrote this book for money because he couldn’t get another job because of what they had “done” to him. Really? I felt that Andrew Young allowed himself to be used, and that the major weakness shown in this book is his own. He uses the personal story of someone he claims to have loved for his own gain. Do I think John Edwards is a bad person…no. Do I think he made some really bad choices? Yes. And I think he is paying for those choices dearly.

Say You're One of Them

Books have the ability to transport you to another world, or to an entirely new existence. Imagine life in a war-torn country.

Most of us cannot fathom the intense fear, poverty and violence experienced by the children of some African nations. Most people don’t even want to think about it. “Say You’re One of Them” by Uwem Akpan contains five short stories told from African children’s point of view. I was touched by each story. Feeling saddened and heartbroken for what some children must overcome to grow up. I could feel the fear and the struggle inherent in these stories and they became part of my conscience.

I think it’s so important to be cognizant of what other’s go through in life. Reading is a way to walk in their shoes, even if only for a moment.

Sinful by Charlotte Featherstone

I was torn as to if I actually liked “Sinful” by Charlotte Featherstone. I was a bit shocked by the intensity of some of the emotional content. The book is quite dark, which differs from most romances I have read. I was intrigued by the character of Matthew, to some extent. But I was bored by Jane. The plain, old gal who can’t find a husband. That storyline is overdone.

I enjoyed Featherstone’s writing, however, and I will try her again in the future.

Sharing the love of books

The love of books is something that a child learns from an early age. I remember being fascinated by picture books, even before I could read the words. That is a love I have tried to foster in my own children.

Another parenting favorite is “A Picture Perfect Childhood” by Cay Gibson. Included are lists of picture books to enjoy with your child. I used it to make a library list and checked them out to read with my children. Some of them then ended up being purchased for our home library.

The way a picture book can bring to life values and stories is nothing short of amazing.