Why I Read Romance

Why Romance?

IT’S LIKE THERAPY THURSDAY!!

If you’ve been following my blog, or you know me personally, you know that my reading tastes are quite broad and voracious. Today I want to rant about something…I find that some people look down upon romance readers. I take offense to that! I have had a long love affair with romance books…and I’m not ashamed. Many of my upcoming posts over the next few weeks are heavy in this section. The reason for that is that romance books are like a comfort item for me. They are like a warm fuzzy blanket, or a bowl of ice cream.

I’ll just admit…I’m a messy girl, with messy emotions. I am moved by writers that can create strong characters with realistic emotion. A good romance book can suck me in, make me laugh, make me cry…make me feel. And feeling for me is hard. Relationships are so consuming and so complicated. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized about myself that I’m just not very good at relationships. I have a hard time being loved, a hard time opening up to emotion.  

Through a prompt class I wrote about some of my early relationships. My inability to truly open up goes way back, and writing it out helped me see trends in how I approach emotional connections.
Thought I would share some of what I wrote in my “first love” essay.

My first experience with “love” was in my early teens. To set the stage, I was an awkward child. I had a tall, skinny body and a massive amount of crazy, curly hair. Growing up in a small town, being unique wasn’t a good thing. I didn’t feel like the other girls. I felt like an outsider. My emotions were too big for my body, and if I let them out I thought bad things would happen. I started to control my feelings, locking them away.

I was always “boy crazy.” I remember, even in preschool, fixating on boys. I was born knowing that I wanted a mate and I was on a mission to pick him out. A boy named Max was always on my radar at five years old. He intrigued me, but always seemed out of my reach.

Max was such a sweet boy. He had curly hair too and his eyes were a light, clear blue. He had this engaging smile and an outgoing attitude. I felt surrounded by beautiful, athletic girls, while I was the strange, bookish friend. Over the years there were times that Max chose me over these other girls. He was the first (maybe only) boy to ever “pick” me as his first choice. I remember those times vividly.
Fast-forward to our early teens. I can still clearly recall the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, of course, and was incredibly excited about it. I stayed up late with butterflies in my tummy, giggling and talking about him to my friend.

Before Max, I had never really been kissed. I had certainly never done anything beyond kissing. He and I started experimenting right away. There was this sizzling chemistry every time I was around him. Even holding his hand I felt this charge. I couldn’t be around him enough.  From the first time we “made out,” I remember the smile on his face, how gently he held me, the feeling of my lips after kissing for hours. Over the months we snuck away whenever we could. Even at school we would catch a quick kiss in the hallway, or hold hands until we were caught. When we weren’t together we would talk on the phone for hours. I had never had this connection with another person.

The way I felt about Max scared me. When we were together I was high up in the sky, but I had this fear that I would fall at any moment. I was jealous of other girls and I hated that feeling. I was certain that he would realize that he could do so much better than me. Everyone liked him, and he only looked at me. There was this pressure to be a perfect girlfriend, because--in my eyes, he was a perfect boyfriend.

Did I mention that I’m a messy girl, with messy thoughts? So, I acted out…ended up kissing another boy. And Max forgave me, still wanted to be with me. I ruined the relationship on purpose. I was self-destructive. I didn’t feel worthy of love, so I sabotaged the relationship. I hurt him and I still feel guilty about that.

This wasn’t the last time I felt these feelings. I’ve had numerous relationships along the way and learned something about myself from each one. It also wasn’t the last time I self- destructed. The moral is that relationships are intense. Very few people go on to be with the first person they feel this way about. There are a lot of broken people out there—but sometimes they find love.

In a romance novel characters, with flaws, find their happily ever after. Now, do I believe in happily ever after? Probably not, but that’s a different story! I get a tingly feeling when I’m reading a good romance, when I think of successful relationships I feel warm and happy. I will never stop reading these love stories and I will never feel embarrassed about the fact that I do so!

Reckless

Reckless by Skye Jordan

My rating (out of 5 stars):

2 stars—It was okay.

Description from Goodreads.com:

“A couture wedding dress designer to the rich and famous, Lexi LaCroix’s image means everything. But crossing paths with a sexier-than-sin, bad-boy biker makes Lexi realize how much living she’s sacrificed for her success and one touch is all it takes to threaten her carefully choreographed life. When that touch fills far more than just Lexi’s physical needs, she finds herself torn between the career she needs and the bad-boy she craves.

Jax Chamberlin gave up the superficial life of acting for the thrill of running his own stunt company years ago. But a recent betrayal proves he’s still too close to the limelight to find a woman who doesn’t plan to use him as a stepping-stone to success. When the charming and mysterious Lexi offers him a totally anonymous hook-up during an out of town trip, Jax accepts. Only Lexi is more sextacular than charming, and Jax wants more.

But Lexi’s got a major hang-up over his renegade lifestyle, and Jax isn’t willing to change his ways. Especially not when he discovers who she really is. Because if she finds out his connections could catapult her to the top of her career, he’s afraid the fantasy woman he’s falling for might just end up like all the other gold-diggers. And this time, it’s not just his bad-boy reputation at risk, but his heart, too.”

My Thoughts:

I wasn't interested in these characters. The plot was overdone. There were too many misunderstandings, too much drama and the emotional connection between the characters was lacking substance.

Peace is Every Step

Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life  by Thich Nhat Hahn

My rating (out of 5 stars):

3 stars—I liked it.

Description from Goodreads.com:

“In the rush of modern life, we tend to lose touch with the peace that is available in each moment. World-renowned Zen master, spiritual leader, and author Thich Nhat Hanh shows us how to make positive use of the very situations that usually pressure and antagonize us. For him a ringing telephone can be a signal to call us back to our true selves. Dirty dishes, red lights, and traffic jams are spiritual friends on the path to "mindfulness"—the process of keeping our consciousness alive to our present experience and reality. The most profound satisfactions, the deepest feelings of joy and completeness lie as close at hand as our next aware breath and the smile we can form right now.

Lucidly and beautifully written, Peace Is Every Step contains commentaries and meditations, personal anecdotes and stories from Nhat Hanh's experiences as a peace activist, teacher, and community leader. It begins where the reader already is—in the kitchen, office, driving a car, walking a part—and shows how deep meditative presence is available now. Nhat Hanh provides exercises to increase our awareness of our own body and mind through conscious breathing, which can bring immediate joy and peace. Nhat Hanh also shows how to be aware of relationships with others and of the world around us, its beauty and also its pollution and injustices. the deceptively simple practices of Peace Is Every Step encourage the reader to work for peace in the world as he or she continues to work on sustaining inner peace by turning the "mindless" into the mindFUL.”

My Thoughts:

I admire Thich Nhat Hahn. This book, just as his others, is filled with thought provoking simplicity. Good reminders for how I want to live my life.  

The Middle Place

The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan

My rating (out of 5 stars):

4 stars—I really liked it!

Description from Goodreads.com:

“Corrigan opens her memoir with these words: "The thing you need to know about me is that I am George Corrigan's daughter, his only daughter." She continues with an unabashed tribute to the first man in her life.George Corrigan emerges as an outsized figure of immense good cheer and spirited disposition. A self-assured adman and former all-American lacrosse player (now part-time coach), he shines brightly, and his daughter appears content to live in his reflected glory.


Kelly considers herself lucky for this great touchstone in her life, and her dad's can-do spirit becomes her greatest asset when she's diagnosed with breast cancer as a young mother. It is her dad's pluck and resolve that will see her through the oncoming battles -- including the realization that her "cure" will mean the end of her ability to bear children and her dream of having a large family of her own.

Though Kelly writes of her husband and daughters, her mother and her brothers, it is her father's love that sustains her. And so, readers fear for her when she reveals that George has been diagnosed with cancer, too. It is at this nadir, facing not only her own mortality but her father's as well, that Kelly finally begins to emerge as a survivor -- a wife, a mother, and more herself. Yet, she will always be her father's daughter.”


My Thoughts:

I could relate to Corrigan and was moved by her story. I was deeply touched by the relationship with her Father. I read this book as I was dealing with some health issues of my own. What impacted me the most was building these important relationships in your life. I hope my children will someday look at me with as much love and respect as Corrigan feels for her Father.

Many reviewers complain about a “whiny” tone in the book. I didn’t see it that way. I felt she was genuine and honest. Overall, beautifully told.  

Get a Clue

Get a Clue by Jill Shalvis

My rating (out of 5 stars):

3—I liked it!

Description from Goodreads.com:

“All in one day, city girl Breanne Mooreland gets left at the altar, takes the flight from hell to her honeymoon--alone--loses her luggage, and ends up snowed in at a Sierra mountains lodge run by the kookiest staff this side of the Addams Family. Oh, and there just happens to be a gorgeous naked man taking a shower in her suite who says he isn't going anywhere. Burned-out vice cop Cooper Scott is in serious need of this vacation, and he's not about to give up the only available room during a bad snowstorm just because an upset, okay, make that insane, woman is having a conniption fit. They'll just have to make the best of it--her side of the bed versus his. But when Cooper wakes up kissing the long, leggy Breanne, he has other thoughts. Part of him wants to prove that not all men are scum, and another part of him entirely wants to show her exactly what that honeymoon suite is intended for. But that will have to wait, because a screaming Breanne has just stumbled on a very dead body.”

My Thoughts:

This is a cute romance with a bit of suspense thrown in. There is spicy chemistry between Breanne and Cooper. And Shalvis always throws in some humor.